The pace and scheduling of public prayer

Pace

As threatened here :), I'm writing yet another follow-up to my "Near tears at morning minyan." I still hate "speed-davvening" because I can't keep up with speedy praying, and will probably never be able to do so. But I've had some more time to consider the question of how quickly or slowly a public prayer service should be conducted, and have concluded that the preferred pace depends on three variables:

• Which day it is

To my way of thinking, there's something not quite right about praying on Shabbat (Sabbath) or Yom Tov (a holiday) at the same speed that's, unfortunately, probably necessary for a weekday "commuter minyan," in which everyone has to be out the door quickly to get to work on time. Isn't part of the point of Shabbat and Yom Tov to be able to slow down and smell the roses?

• Who's there

On the other hand, as is the case with a Seder, there's a limit to how slowly one should go when there are young children present. When our son was considerably younger, I always used to hope that the cantor didn't say the Kedushah prayer so slowly that I'd have to leave the sanctuary with the Little Raashan (noisemaker) before the end.

• Who's not there

There's also the fact that, particularly in more traditional communities, the wife is often left home alone to cope with the kids who are too young to behave appropriately in synagogue, while the husband goes to services (since, according to the Orthodox interpretation of halachah/Jewish religious law, a man is obligated to pray at specific times and preferably with a minyan, whereas a woman is not). So the service shouldn't be conducted at such a slow pace that the mom is left to manage alone for too long.

Scheduling

In accommodating the needs of young families, there's not only the pace, but also the time of services to consider. Some years back, I had an interesting conversation on my blog--sorry, too lazy to look for yet another ancient post :)--regarding Minchah (Afternoon Service) on Shabbat and Yom Tov. I said that I thought it was a pity that Minchah and Arvit/Maariv (Evening Service) are always scheduled together, because that scheduling prevents the attendees from being outdoors, in nice weather, to enjoy the beauty of sunset. A commenter responded that it's all very well and good for women, who are not obligated to pray at specific times and are not expected to pray with a minyan, to say Minchah whenever and wherever they want. But men must leave their homes and go to synagogue (or wherever the minyan is taking place). Scheduling Minchah and Arvit together makes it possible for men to leave the home only twice, rather than three times, and enables them to spend more time with their families. That's an excellent point.

I've also finally begun to understand the usefulness of a "Hashkamah Minyan," a Shacharit (Morning) Service held very early on a Shabbat or Yom Tov. For years, I couldn't understood why on earth anyone in his or her right mind would want to get up early on a Shabbat and Yom Tov in order to attend a minyan that started at 7 AM or so. Only in recent years have I understood that a Hashkamah Minyan is a real boon for families with very young children--one parent can go to the Hashkamah Minyan, then return home and relieve the other parent of parenting duty so that the other parent can go to the "Main" minyan, thus enabling both the husband and the wife to attend services without hiring a babysitter. I wish that more Conservative synagogues would offer a Hashkamah minyan, rather than either hiring (a) babysitter(s); drafting (a) congregant(s), usually female, to skip services and babysit; forcing parents to hire their own babysitters; or insisting that a parent (usually the mother), stay home with the child(ren) until they're old enough to sit still and be quiet. I certainly would have appreciated not having been made to feel like a pariah in my own shul.

A synagogue must maintain a delicate balance between speed-davvening and respecting the sanctity of our holy days, as well as between meeting the needs of families with young children and those of "empty-nesters" like me. Good luck getting this balancing act right.

See the follow-up post to which I refer in the comments, My old/new perspective on prayer and parenting.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012 update:  For the record, here's the original complaint, Morning Madness--on davvenning Shacharit.